


He Loves Me

by IvanW



Series: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Established Relationship, Gay, Love, M/M, Marriage, Romance, Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 16:32:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4486767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 Times Kirk mentions marriage to Spock and the one time Spock mentions it to Kirk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dying to be Married

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read "He Loves Me Not" you may want to. It's not necessary but they do go together.

It was at times like this that Jim decided he must have really had a death wish when he joined Starfleet. How many times could you actually almost die and really in his case he actually had died. Mostly dead. Whatever.

He had cheated death so many times.

But this was going to be different. This time he was going to die. Judging by the stoic look on Spock’s face, with the barest leaking of panic in his dark eyes, Spock knew it too.

Jim was coughing up blood. And it hurt to fucking breathe. In fact his entire torso felt like it was on fire. If he was going to die, why did it have to be so damn painful every time?

Saving Spock had been worth it. Jim would have done it even if he’d known it would result in his death. Spock was a far better choice to continue living than Jim anyway.

“Spock,” he rasped.

“Save your strength.”

Spock was holding him in his arms and that was good. Spock kept trying to contact the Enterprise to beam them aboard, but the atmospheric storm was preventing it from going through.

“We both know it doesn’t matter.”

Spock stared into Jim’s eyes. “I do not.”

“I never knew what a bad liar you are. No wonder Vulcans don’t lie.”

Spock frowned minutely. “It is not a lie, Captain. You are not dying.”

Jim smiled faintly. “Baby, it’s just us and I’m about to die. You think maybe you can call me Jim?”

“Very well. Jim. You. Are. Not. Dying.”

“It really hurts.”

“I know,” Spock said softly. “It is temporary. When we are on the Enterprise, Dr. McCoy will make the pain go away.”

“At least you’re all right. And the bastard’s dead.”

Spock’s fingers stroked Jim’s forehead. “It is best to remain quiet.”

“You’re always telling me to shut up.” Jim shook his head, as he felt a trickle of blood go down his chin. “I need to say some stuff. You know. Before.”

“You are not dying.”

“Humor me then, okay?”

Spock nodded, but looked very displeased.

“I love you. If I didn’t say it enough before I want you to know it has never been because I didn’t feel it. I’ve never been in love until I met you.”

Spock opened his mouth to reply, but Jim shook his head.

“Let me say what I need to. I don’t know how long I have.” Jim coughed and blood bubbled out. “What has it been? Six months? What we had together was far too short.”

“Six months, three weeks, four days, twenty-two hours, three minutes,” Spock rattled off.

He tried a smile but it was more effort than he could manage. “Yeah.”

“Jim.”

“We should have gotten married or something.”

“I will not permit you to die,” Spock said in a harsh voice.

“I’m pretty sure you can’t forbid me.”

“I can and I do.”

Jim let his eyes begin to close.

“Open your eyes,” Spock ordered, his voice firm. “It is necessary for you to remain awake and focused on me.”

“It’s getting hard, Spock.”

“I know, ashal-veh. You must focus anyway.”

Spock’s hand moved off Jim’s forehead and to the same spots which the older Spock touched long before on Delta Vega.

“Spock?” Jim whispered.

“I am here, Jim. I will never leave you. And you will live. I will it.”

Jim felt Spock touch his mind, then Spock panted a breath, and the pain Jim felt disappeared.

“Did you—did you do something?”

Spock nodded. “A pain management method. Just until we can get you to the ship. All will be well, my beloved.” Spock flipped open his communicator and once more paged the Enterprise.

Jim felt himself fading. “Love you. Wish you could have been my husband.”

***

He woke to the sounds of medical equipment. Someone was holding his hand and his hair was being brushed from his forehead. His eyelids felt heavy as he lifted them.

Bones stood over him, petting his head. “Hello, Jim.”

“Bones?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“Am I dead?”

“In what hellish afterlife would you wake to me?” Bones joked. He smiled and shook his head. “Not this time, Jim.”

“Spock?”

“He was here a moment ago. He’ll be back. He had to give a report to Starfleet.”

Jim smiled. “Can’t believe I made it.”

“Thanks to Spock and his voodoo thing, you did. Want to sit up a little? Have a sip of water?”

Jim nodded.

Bones adjusted Jim’s bed and he was now sitting up slightly. “You’ll be in here for a few days, Jim. So don’t even start with the asking me when you get to leave.”

“I didn’t.”

“You would have,” Bones said with a smirk. He held up a cup of water to Jim’s lips.

“Spock’s okay?”

“He was out for about twelve hours or so because of the voodoo thing, but otherwise he’s fine.”

Jim frowned. “I think I asked him to marry me or something.”

Bones raised both of his brows. “Did he accept?”

Jim shook his head. “No.”

“At least one of you has sense then.”

“Bones, are you ever going to get over your disdain of marriage?”

“No.” Bones touched Jim’s hand. “It might be right for you and the hobgoblin though.”

“Are you speaking of me, doctor?” Spock suddenly appeared by Jim’s side.

“Know any other hobgoblins?”

“Bones.” Jim smiled at Spock, perhaps a little worshipful. “You saved my life.”

“You saved my life first.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Here we go again.”

“Shh,” Jim said, just before pulling Spock down for a kiss.


	2. Kidding Around

“Those kids liked you, Jim.”

Jim looked up from the baked chicken he was examining as though it was covered in bugs. “Huh?"

“Is there something distasteful about your food, Captain?” Spock asked, from his position nearly on top of Jim. Okay maybe Leonard was exaggerating. Just a little. Spock did sit a little close. Too close. Whatever.

“Yeah it tastes yucky.”

“Yucky?” Leonard repeated. “You were around those kids too much. You’re talking like them.”

“Blah blah blah.” Jim pushed his plate away. “I think it’s gone bad. Well, worse. It’s always been bad.”

Leonard eyed him. He was a little pale around the gills. “You feeling all right, Jim?”

“A little nauseous, actually.”

Spock immediately manhandled Jim. “Explain.”

“You’re damn proprietary, aren’t you?” Leonard took out his tricorder.

“What do you mean explain?” Jim whined. “I feel like I’m going to puke.”

“Oh now he’s whining. That’s a bad sign.”

“I am not whining,” Jim insisted. Spock’s hand was on his jaw forcing Jim’s mouth open. “Sp—eck.”

“There are white spots in his throat, doctor.”

Jim batted away Spock’s hands. “Do you mind? Jesus, are you trying to break my jaw?”

“He’s grumpy too,” Leonard said. He continued to scan Jim.

“You did completely cure him of the disease he contracted on the planet, did you not?”

“Do you see any purple spots, Spock?” Leonard demanded.

“Not at the moment, but I intend to take him back to his quarters for inspection,” Spock declared.

“The medbay would be better.”

“Are you two actually talking about me right in front of me like I’m not here?” Jim asked. He definitely sounded cranky.

Leonard clucked his tongue sympathetically. “Any other symptoms?”

Jim nodded. “Got a headache. And I feel hot.”

“That’s it. Medbay it is. Get up.”

“I don’t want to go to the medbay.”

“Tough. And stop whining.”

Spock yanked Jim to his feet.

“I don’t want to—oh no.” Jim threw up all over Spock and Leonard.

****

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into letting you recuperate in your quarters,” Leonard complained, as he gazed down at Jim in his bed.

“It’s just a little Andorian flu,” Jim said hoarsely. “My immunity was down.”

Leonard nodded. “Yeah it’s down a lot. For someone with super blood, it’s worrisome.” He put his hand on Jim’s forehead. “You’re still really hot.”

“Should we lower the temperature, doctor?” Spock asked from beside him. They’d both cleaned up Jim’s barf and changed into fresh uniforms.

“Not right now. I don’t want him to get chilled.”

“Are you comfortable, Captain?” Spock asked.

Leonard rolled his eyes. “You two are sleeping together on a semi-regular basis, Spock, you’d think in private you could call him Jim.”

“A regular basis,” Spock replied.

“Huh?”

“It is not a semi-regular basis. You spoke in error.”

Leonard snorted and shook his head.

“I’m sleepy,” Jim said softly.

Spock’s stony face softened as he looked down at Jim. He glanced briefly at Leonard and then sat on the bed next to Jim. “Do you need your pillow adjusted? Need water?”

Jim smiled. “No.” He looked past Spock to Leonard. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

“What you said earlier. You think those kids really liked me?”

“Miri sure did.”

“Oh. Yeah. I mean. Sure.” He bit his lip. “The younger ones too?”

“Of course the younger ones. They followed you everywhere. Everyone likes you, Jim. Dogs, cats, kids, and Vulcans.”

Spock arched his brow. “Indeed.”

“So, like if Spock and I ever got married or whatever,” Jim said with a somewhat shy glance at Spock. “We’d be able to have kids. Not that I mean _have_ them. I’m _not_ getting one of those womb things or anything.”

“No one wants that, Jim,” Leonard assured him.

Jim grunted. “Would we make okay parents…dads…whatever?”

Spock was blinking rapidly but he said nothing. Jim was beginning to squirm.

“Of course you would,” Leonard assured Jim.

Jim smiled. “Thanks.”

“Now, I want you to rest. I’ll come back later to check on you.” Leonard started heading for the door. “Are you coming, Spock?”

“One moment.” Spock stroked his fingertips across Jim’s forehead as Jim closed his eyes.

He joined Leonard in the corridor outside Jim’s quarters.

“Vulcan voodoo?”

“I do not know what you mean,” Spock said coolly.

“Of course not. Let me know if there’s any change in his condition. Because yeah, I know you’re going to check on him. A lot.” Leonard smirked. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you, Spock?”

“It, doctor?”

Leonard shook his head. “Never mind. See you.”    


	3. Faking It

“Okay, so listen, we’re going to have to pretend we’re…you know.”

Sulu blinked at his captain. For a moment he thought Kirk was talking to him. That wasn’t possible, was it?

They were on the planet, Malbet. They were at a dinner, sitting at a long table. He was situated between Kirk and Spock, and as he thought about it, he must have been talking to Spock. Across from them were Uhura and a security guard Sulu couldn’t quite recall the name of. Morrison or something.

“Clarify,” Spock said.

Sulu thought the commander had taken the words right out of his mouth.

“They won’t let us share a room here unless we’re actually married,” Kirk said patiently.

“Do you and Mr. Spock have to share? It’s only one night,” Sulu pointed out, logically, he thought. It still seemed a little weird to Sulu having Kirk and Spock be a couple. He wouldn’t have thought they got along that well. They seemed so different. Half the time Spock seemed more than a little exasperated with Kirk. Of course Chekov said it made perfect sense to him. They had a bit of a wager going as to how long it would take before Spock tried to choke the captain again.   

“The lieutenant does have a point, Captain.”

Jim gave them what Sulu knew to be _his ‘I’m really trying to be patient with all of you’_ smile. “Normally yes I can manage. Thank you, Lieutenant. But the priestess has indicated she wishes to get better acquainted with me and has already hinted she intends to sneak into my room when her father has gone to bed.”

The commander stiffened beside Sulu. “You did not tell me this.”

“I’m telling you now,” Kirk said with that same smile. “If we announce we’re actually married, they will give us one room.”

“Are you sure that will stop her? Maybe she wants a threesome.” Sulu clapped his hand over his mouth, realizing what he had just said to his commanding officers. They were not his friends, he reminded himself. Not like that anyway. He couldn’t just blurt out whatever he wanted to them. And judging by the narrowed glare Spock was sending Sulu’s way, he had indeed made a big mistake.

But on the other side of him Kirk shrugged. “I thought of that, actually. But Spock can be pretty scary threatening when he wants to be.”

Like you had to tell _that_ to Sulu. He was now avoiding looking in the first officer’s direction.

Uhura leaned over from her seat. “What are you three whispering about anyway?”

“Spock and I are married.”

Her mouth fell open. “Since when?”

“Five minutes ago,” Spock replied.

“Wait, what?”

Kirk stood and clapped Sulu on the shoulder. “You explain it to her, will you? I’m going to go talk to the chancellor and the priestess, his daughter, about our overnight arrangements.”

Sulu noticed that Spock rose too and quickly followed after their captain. Come to think of it, he always followed the captain everywhere. Maybe Chekov was right.

Uhura had risen from her chair on the other side of the table and had now come over to the chair Kirk had recently occupied. “Okay, Sulu, spill it.”

“I guess the chancellor’s daughter made a pass at the captain and he’s afraid if he and Spock aren’t married, she’ll sneak into his room.” Sulu shrugged. “That’s it basically.”

She snorted. “So he’s afraid for his virtue?’

That did sound silly. “Yeah.”

“Like he can’t just tell her no, I’m not interested. I’m in a committed relationship.” She sighed, tapping her fingers on the table.

“Yeah, but what’s the big deal, anyway? So they tell them they’re married? So what?”

“All that kind of stuff is very important to Spock. He doesn’t take it as a joke.”

“Did you ever talk about that kind of thing with the commander?” Sulu wondered. Honestly, Uhura was hot and all, but he never really got that relationship either. In fact, Spock with Kirk made more sense to him.

“That’s none of your business,” she said coolly.

Sulu figured that meant no.

Right after that they were all ushered out of the dining room and down the corridor where rooms had been arranged for the night. They would be leaving the planet after breakfast the next day.

Sulu noticed that the chancellor and his daughter walked Kirk and Spock to a room with ornate double doors.

“This is our grandest room, Captain, provided for you and your husband,” the chancellor said.

Kirk smiled. “Thank you. It’s very kind of you.”

Kirk and Spock entered the room and the doors closed behind them. Sulu noticed the priestess looked less than pleased but she walked away as they were all escorted to their rooms.

The next day as they prepared to leave the chancellor and his daughter presented Kirk and Spock with wedding presents native to Malbet. Sulu could tell Spock was uncomfortable with the presentation, but Kirk just smiled graciously and accepted them.

When they were back on board the Enterprise, Dr. McCoy was waiting for them in the transporter room.

“What are those?” McCoy demanded.

“Wedding presents,” Sulu told him.

McCoy shook his head. “Is that why I received a call from down there by some female asking me to confirm these two idiots were married?”

Kirk grinned and slapped McCoy’s arm. “I did tell the priestess you would confirm it. She seemed skeptical.”

“Can’t imagine why.”

“Thanks, by the way,” Kirk glanced at Spock, who held the large unwieldy gifts. “Coming, Spock?”

“Captain, I protest the deception of—”

But Kirk was shaking his head and heading for the exits, the commander hot on his heels.

Sulu heard Kirk say, “Then we’ll just have to get married.”

After that he heard a loud thump and the doors closed.

McCoy sighed. Uhura huffed. Sulu decided the Enterprise was the weirdest ship in the fleet. But he was lucky to be assigned to it.   


	4. Advice From an Expert

Jim was coming down from a serious sexual high. Hell, his orgasm had an orgasm. He grinned to himself. Yeah, sometimes he was a total dork.

But hell. Spock knew how to fuck like nobody’s business. Before they’d started this—whatever—Jim would have never guessed. He always figured Vulcans were sort of sexually repressed or something. He’d heard about the seven-year thing and of course there were even rumors that was the _only_ time Vulcans copulated. And yeah, he totally liked using that word, because Spock did.  

And it made sense to Jim that Spock wasn’t all that into sex because there had to be _some_ reason Uhura was so uptight.

But then from day one of their ‘romantic entanglement’—totally another Spock term—Spock had been the epitome of the perfect sexual partner for Jim. Hell, there were times Spock wanted it more than Jim. Lots of times, actually. Not that Jim couldn’t totally be persuaded and yeah Spock was damn good at persuading.

The thing was though, Jim was pretty sure he screamed out ‘marry me’ as he was having that orgasm of orgasms. And as had been happening, Spock didn’t respond. Okay, so people said stupid things while coming. Jim did anyway. So maybe that’s why Spock paid no attention.

Jim was no fool. Despite what some people might think, including a few past lovers if it came to that. He knew Vulcans ‘bonded’. He’d totally looked it up before back in the day when his stomach was always in knots because he thought Spock and Uhura might be mister and missus someday. But Spock had never bonded with Uhura, even though they were a couple, and Jim knew that was what _she_ wanted, so maybe the reason Spock didn’t react to Jim’s not very subtle hints with the marriage topic was that he didn’t actually want to bond with Jim either.

Could Vulcans bond with humans?

Spock’s mom and dad were together and married and all. But that didn’t mean they ever bonded. They might have had a traditional marriage. Sarek had always called her ‘my wife’ not ‘my bondmate’, so yeah, Jim had no idea. And he could ask Spock. But what if Spock said he could bond with humans. That would tell Jim maybe Spock just didn’t want to.

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you well?”

Jim turned his head to look at Spock, who had risen in the bed and was now hovering over Jim in concern.

“Oh sure.” He grinned. “But wow. You were quite energetic.”

Spock’s lips curved in one of his rare almost smiles. “You are inspiring.” Then his lips straightened. “You are very quiet. Which is unusual.”

“I’m just worn out from your awesomeness.”

Spock arched a brow but Jim could tell Spock didn’t really believe him. “Do you want to shower first?”

“Nah, you go ahead. I’m not ready to get up yet.” He smiled at Spock to show his lover he was all right. Spock rose from the bed and then touched his fingers to Jim’s. “Love you.”

“And I you.”

****

“Would you marry me, Bones?” Jim asked much later as he went into Bones’ office in the medbay.

Bones looked up from his terminal with a  frown. “You’re not my type.”

Jim rolled his eyes and plopped himself on the edge of Bones’ desk. “I mean the general you, doc.”

“What in the hell have you got in that corn fed mind of yours now?”

“Okay, well, I’ve proposed to Spock like a million times. He doesn’t seem to be on board with the idea.”

“Do you listen to yourself sometimes?”

“Are you going to help me or not?’

Bones sighed. “Help you with what? Lovesickness? That’s not curable.”

“Explain to me why Spock doesn’t want to marry me.” Jim pouted. “Am I so unlovable?”

“You’re the only one on this ship Spock likes.”

“That’s not true. He likes Uhura.”

“His ex-lover and his current-lover. Very generous of him.”

“He likes you too. But this isn’t about liking you or anyone. It’s about _me_.”

“Spare me.”

Jim nudged Bones with his boot. “What’s got you all sour-faced?”

“Well, gee, let’s see. My best friend wants advice on how to make the hobgoblin marry him. Could that be it?”

“He’s not a hobgoblin.”

“Why do you want to get married anyway? You should be a lifelong bachelor. Wasn’t it you who once said you didn’t believe in fairytales and soulmates and all that?”

Jim shifted uncomfortably. “I was misquoted in that article. She wanted me to sound like a heartless douche.”

“I was there, Jim. You did say that.”

“Well, whatever. Maybe I still don’t. That doesn’t mean I don’t love Spock and want to marry him. Marriage is work not fated lovers or anything.”

“Maybe he’s a secret romantic.”

“So I should get down on my knee with a ring in my hand and a rose in my teeth?”

“I didn’t say that.” Bones rubbed his eyes. “And lord help me, I can see you doing just that.”

Jim stood up and clapped Bones on his shoulder. Harder than he needed to which earned him a scowl. He laughed. “Thanks, Bones. You’re the best.”

“What? I didn’t say to do that! Jim! Get back here! Jim!”


	5. The Best Laid Plans

_This is really hard._ Jim hit send on his PADD messenger.

His PADD beeped a minute later.

_You’d better not be talking about what I think you’re talking about. Damn it, Jim. I don’t want to hear about Spirk sex._

Jim frowned. _Spirk?_

_It’s a thing._

_What thing?_

_It’s what everyone on the ship calls the two of you. Get over it._

Jim rolled his eyes. _Not talking about sex. Trust me, it’s not hard to have sex with Spock. And I’m not erect at the moment._

_Damn it, Jim._

_I’m talking about dinner. I’m making Vulcan shit. Or trying to. And then, I’ve been practicing with a flower in my mouth for the proposal and it’s not easy talking with your mouth full of a flower stem._

_You got a rose?_

_No. Where would I get a rose from on the ship? It’s some flower I picked in the botany lab._

_Wait. What? What flower?_

_It’s purple and blue. Relax, Bones. I think it’s like an Iris or something. My lips have been feeling a little numb though._

_Damn it, Jim!_

_I’m kidding. It’s fine. I have to go. Spock’s due any minute and he’s always early. Wish me luck._

_Do I have to?_

_Yes. That’s an order._

_Good luck…CAPTAIN._

Jim smiled and tucked his PADD away. He tasted the Plomeek soup and winced. It didn’t taste at all right. And he’s burnt the Kreyla. What was the rice dish called? He didn’t even fucking remember.

The table was set. A cloth tablecloth, silver forks and knives, China plates. Flameless candles. He even had music playing. Some classical piece Spock played on his Vulcan lyre.

Jim popped open the ring box. Still there. Hell, he doubted bonded couples even wore rings. But since he wasn’t sure if Spock was going to bond with him, marriage might be his only choice, so a ring it was.

His door chimed and he shoved the ring into his pocket. He rubbed his burning lips. What was that, anyway? He hadn’t noticed that before. Must have burnt them on the stupid soup.

“Enter.”

Spock came in, hands behind his back, and looked at the table. “Jim?”

“Uh, yeah. Sit down, will you? I made dinner.”

Spock sniffed the air. “It smells…interesting.”

Jim cleared his throat. “Sit.”

Spock sat and Jim brought him the soup, the burnt Kreyla and the rice thing. Spock stared down at it. “What is the soup?”

“Plomeekth.” Okay, did he just lisp?

“It is not the correct color for Plomeek.”

“I had a little trouble.”

“I see. Perhaps we should replicate dinner—” Spock stopped as Jim went down on one knee. What the hell. Dinner was a disaster, he may as well cut right to it. “Jim?”

Jim grabbed the flower and stuck it in his mouth. His lips twitched. He dug the ring out and set it in the palm of his swollen hand. Wait, what?

Spock’s eyes were now wide. “Jim—”

“Spocth, phwil foo tharry thee?”

“What?”

Damn flower. Jim pulled it out of his mouth. “Will you marry me?”

“I—”

Jim’s throat closed. “Spock, can’t brea—” He went down face first as Spock frantically called his name.  


	6. At Last

Lights appeared above him. Even with his eyes still shut he could see the light.

“Bones?”

“Welcome back, Jim.”

His eyelids fluttered open. Bones’ face appeared over his. He tried a smile. “Are you in my quarters?”

“No. You’re in the medbay.”

“Ah, crap. The flower?”

Bones shrugged. “Or the fake Plomeek you bought.”

Jim frowned. “What?”

Bones shook his head and leaned back to raise Jim’s biobed so he was sitting up. “Where’d you get that stuff?”

“A guy on the last space station. He claimed it was Plomeek.”

“Nope. Don’t know what it was yet, but Spock assures me it was not. With your luck it was probably a combination of the Lato flower and the fake Plomeek.” Bones smirked. “They’re poisonous by the way.”

“What is?”

“The Lato flower. According to Sulu anyway. You aren’t supposed to eat them.”

“I didn’t. I just had it in my mouth.”

“That should tell you to stop putting things into your mouth.” Bones snorted. “And don’t even think of saying anything to _that_.”

“Spock?”

“He was here. Went to the bridge. Said he’d see you later in your quarters.” Bones folded his arms across his chest. “So? Are congratulations in order?”

Jim thought about it. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t think he answered me before I collapsed.” Jim sighed. “Maybe that was on purpose. I’m never gonna get married.”

“It’s overrated anyway, Jim.”

“For you with the bitch, yeah. But this is Spock.”

“Well, I’d wish you luck but that didn’t work out so well last time. Go back to your quarters. Off duty twenty-four.”

“I feel fine.”

“Want me to make it forty-eight?”

Jim opened and closed his mouth.

“Do as you’re told.”

Since Bones was at least releasing him, Jim decided not to press his luck.

The only thing left of his ill-fated proposal when he reached his quarters was the ring box sitting in the middle of his bed. Jim shook his head, stripped and took a shower. Maybe Bones was right and marriage just wasn’t in the cards for him.

He didn’t even bother to get dressed when he came out of the shower, just went straight to his bed and plopped down with just the towel wrapped around his waist. If Spock was coming later it wasn’t like Spock hadn’t seen him naked dozens of time.

Jim eyed the ring box. With a sigh he reached for it. The whole idea had probably been stupid. He’d mentioned getting married to Spock a bunch of times and Spock hadn’t reacted. Spock had never once mentioned bonding. He was pretty sure Spock wasn’t just playing around with him though. Vulcans didn’t do that. Spock didn’t. But maybe Space Boyfriends was good enough for Spock. If so, then so be it. Jim wasn’t going to ask again.

He flipped open the box and his breath stilled. It was empty. Something—he wasn’t sure what—made him look up and he saw Spock standing just inside the door of his quarters.

“Spock?”

Spock moved silently through the room and over to the bed. He lay down beside Jim, still saying nothing. Jim simply stared at him.

When Spock held out the palm of his hand toward Jim there was only one ring there. There had been two in the box. Jim’s gaze went to Spock’s ring finger, which now wore the other band. Jim went to reach for the one sitting in Spock’s palm, but Spock shook his head.

He reached for Jim’s hand himself, directing the ring to Jim’s finger. As he held it at the tip, Spock said softly, “I would bond with thee.”

“B-Bond?” He knew he sounded shaky. He was fairly certain he was barely breathing. The intensity in Spock’s brown eyes was nearly his undoing.

“Yes, t’hy’la.”

“What-what’s that?”

“Brother, friend, lover. Everything. Similar to a soulmate but much more. Our minds would be as one. Our Katras would be linked. We would be closer than you could ever imagine, Jim. If one of us died, the pain for the other would be extreme. The severing of a bond is without equal in grief. We would have each other’s thoughts, emotions.” Spock’s gaze intensified. “It is not something to take lightly.”

“For you?”

“For either of us. You would be my mate, my husband. During my time of Pon Farr you would be subjected to the madness we do not speak of.”

Jim’s chest ached. Whether from happiness or trepidation, he wasn’t totally sure. Such deep commitment was alien to him. It wasn’t as simple as divorcing someone if it didn’t work out. Not that he expected it wouldn’t. Jim would never love anyone but Spock. But what if—

“Ashayam, I, too, will never love or want another but you. You are my t’hy’la.” Spock placed his hand on Jim’s chest where his heart beat. “This is precious to me.”

Jim smiled. “How come you haven’t said yes before? All the times I asked you to marry me.”

“You have only actually asked me once,” Spock said primly. “I was about to respond when you lost consciousness.”

“So, your response was going to be—”

“Yes I will marry you. Even if you will not bond with me. It is my preference—”

“Yes,” Jim said, the words rushing out. “I will bond with you.”

“It requires a ceremony on Vulcan—New Vulcan.”

“Okay. We’ll arrange it.”

“You are sure? I will marry you anyway.”

“I want it.” Jim waited as Spock slid the ring onto his finger. Then he moved his hand to Spock’s heart at his side. “I want everything with you. Forever and always.”

Spock gave him a rare smile and leaned in for a kiss.

_He loves me_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
